Arrow To The Heart
by KatelynnBB
Summary: (AU where Laura Barton does not exist) Clint is drawn to Wanda, so drawn to her. They have a connection, but the on again/off again wears on them both. Turmoil can break a person, no matter how strong. And uncertainty can bruise a heart, no matter how cold.
1. Vulnerable

Couldn't get this story out of my head so I had to write it down. Here goes.

AU where Laura Barton does not exist (I love Clint/Laura, but I mean come on...Renner and Olson have a really chemical vibe) Begins after Age of Ultron and continues into Civil War.

Wanda hasn't laid eyes on Clint Barton in a while. Seeing her old flame has turned her life upside down. After losing her brother, she found comfort in the arms of the Hawk, but things changed. Now he's back and asking for her help and she's feeling that old familiar pull towards him...

Enjoy.

2 Months Post Ultron

Wanda pulled her hair back into a bun, and pulled her focus back on track during her training session. When she let her emotions overcome her abilities she knew the consequences could be lethal. She tried to follow Cap's advice, but all she could think about today was her brother.

If Pietro could see her now. She tried to smile at his memory, but she couldn't. Forbidden tears welled in her eyes.

"Wanda!"

"Yes, Captain?" She asked as she attempted to hide her tear streaked face.

"Call it a day." He whispered as he came to lay a hand on her shoulder.

Wanda nodded and without another word walked solemnly to her room. She shed her jacket and plopped on the bed, buried her head in her hands and cried. She sobbed until her whole body was shaking, her hair coming loose from the bun.

Pietro. Her twin. Her big brother. Her protector. She missed him so much. No one here had family. Nobody understood her pain. Every single day was a struggle. She sighed and walked to her bathroom, catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror.

"What a wreck." She said to herself. She attempted to put her hair back in place and wiped her face with a cool cloth. She heard someone knocking and turned just as her door opened.

"Knock knock." Said the playful male voice.

"Come in." She said ruefully as she sat back on the edge of the bed.

She looked Clint up and down. This was the man her brother had died saving. He was here because her brother was not. That was a bitter pill to swallow. One she almost choked on, and it probably would have killed her if not for Clint himself. She couldn't explain it, but she was so drawn to him.

Whenever they were close she could feel her energy buzzing. Every cell in her body seemed to be humming when he was near. It was strange. It was new. It was unexplainable. Over the past two months she and Clint had spent a lot of time together. They trained, they talked, and sometimes his hand would linger on her shoulder or her lower back.

"Did Steve send you in here?" She asked as he leaned against the door frame. He looked good, just leaning there being casual. Something he was oh so good at doing.

"Mmm nope." He shook his head. "Why? Rough day?"

"You could say that." She looked into his eyes from across the room.

"Wanna talk about it?" He asked simply.

Wanda took a deep breath and looked towards the ceiling. "I miss him." She felt a tear fall. "I miss him so much it hurts." Her voice cracked.

Clint was by her side in an instant. She rested her hand on his knee and looked into his eyes, "Sometimes I feel like I cant breathe without him." The tears kept falling. Her eyes stared into his, searching, longing for rescue. Clint had the ability to speak volumes without saying a word. He covered her hand with his. Wanda bit her lip and wiped the tears away. The warmth from his hand spreading.

"That little jerk was a hero." Clint quipped.

Wanda let out a little chuckle and laid her head on his shoulder. He kissed her hair, his thumb stroking her hand as he held it.

"He was my hero." She said.

"You know if I could choose, it would've been me instead of him." Clint said.

Wanda raised her head and looked at him. He was staring at the wall, his expression pained. He turned thoughtful eyes on her. "I'd do that for you in a heartbeat. I really would."

"Clint-"

"I'm serious. I never wanted-"

"Shh." Wanda pressed a finger to his lips. "Stop, Clint. I could never trade lives. I miss him, but Pietro made his choice. He chose you. To save you.

His expression was still pained as his hands came up to caress her arm. His lips began kissing the finger that had been pressed against them. Wanda shivered. He placed her palm against his cheek and sighed.

As much as he longed to hold her, he knew he shouldn't. For so many reasons. Still, he couldn't help stealing subtle touches every now and then. But it was getting more and more difficult to walk away from her. He wanted to be there for her. Protect her. Could he protect her from himself?

Clint stood up, "I better get outta here. You need your privacy." Wanda followed him to the door. He leaned against the frame once more. His black tank revealing his muscled form. She could sense his conflicting emotions, or maybe those were hers? All she knew was that she didn't want to be alone.

"Clint...thank you." She said.

"No problem, kid." He whispered.

Their faces were inching closer as Wanda couldn't pull herself away from him. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She was nervous, excited, and found herself anticipating what the lips of Clint Barton would taste like.


	2. Clint Barton

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**We might be moving to an M rating after chapter 3. Still not sure. Just want to be safe**.

Clint's heart was pounding inside his chest so loudly he was sure Wanda could hear it. He knew she could sense it. What was it about this girl? From the very moment he met her...there was something. Something he couldn't identify. All he knew was that it was getting stronger by the day. And now, standing in her bedroom doorway, stronger by the moment.

"I cant do this." He looked her straight in the eyes. He was desperate, almost pleading her to stop him because he knew he couldn't stop himself. He had let his mind wander here far too often and now...

He traced the outline of her lips and she shivered. His rough, calloused fingers leaving a tingling trail of warmth as they slid down her neck inching her closer. His eyes were so intent and all she could do was stare right back at him until she closed her eyes and gave herself over to his touch.

God, she was mesmerizing. All this time he wasn't sure, was never positive that she felt the same way. Now he knew. She was here. Ready. Eager...vulnerable. It hit him like a ton of bricks.

His lips barely brushed across her forehead, and he took a step back.

"I'm sorry, Wanda." He whispered.

She cringed and when she finally had the courage to open her eyes Clint Barton was nowhere to be found. She stood shocked for a moment, then quietly closed the door.

She knew what was holding him back. It was the same thing that had been keeping her at bay as well. Her grief. It kept her from being happy, and it kept Clint from acting on his feelings. She knew Hawkeye. She could see inside him. He was a good man. He would never take advantage of her.

But right now she wouldn't mind it so much. She needed to feel something. And she wanted, oh how she wanted it to be Clint Barton. She knew her own mind. Wanda laughed to herself, she knew a lot of people's minds.

Although she was disappointed at their exchange just now, Wanda wasn't angry with Clint. He was doing what he thought was right. And at the end of the day, that's what she admired about him the most. Ever since that day when her home came crashing down, and he looked at her and said, "Its my job." He chose to fight an army of robots with a bow and arrow because it was his job.

He could have easily ran the other way, but he didnt. He stayed. He fought. He protected her. And then, she protected him. Wanda smiled at the memory. He hated her at first, but in the end he wound up being her fiercest protector.

Clint sat perched on the roof of the Avengers headquarters. He surveyed the perimeter in the soft, fading light of dusk. No unusual movement. Nothing out of the ordinary. Except for the way his heart was still beating a hole in his chest.

"Barton." Steve's voice boomed from the entrance to the roof.

"I'm here, Cap." Clint called.

Steve sauntered over to where Clint was sitting. His legs dangling over the side of the building.

"Anything to report?" Cap asked.

"Negative. No movement up here."

"Yeah, I wasnt talking about up here..." Steve raised an eyebrow at Hawkeye.

"Wanda?" Clint shrugged, "She's sad about her brother. Who could blame her, poor kid. But, I really think she's starting to feel at home here. Today was just a hard day for her."

Steve was silent for a moment. "And what about you, Barton?"

"Me? What about me?"

"You and Wanda. Come on, I may be old but I'm not blind. There's something there."

Clint bit his lip, "I dont know man, maybe. But, I wish there wasn't. You dont know how bad I wish I could just...not. You know?"

"Not what, Clint? Care about her?"

Clint swung his legs over the ledge and stood. "She's just a girl. She's been through a lot, and I just...I dont want to hurt her, man."

"Listen, she's a woman. And trust me, we've both seen her in combat. She is strong. I have a feeling she can handle herself." Steve smiled, "Just some food for thought." He said as he walked away.

Clint didn't want to think. Which worked out perfectly because he couldnt seem to get his head clear. Thoughts of Wanda were making him dizzy. She was definitely a witch...she had bewitched him. He needed to get out of here so he could think straight.

Clarity. Yeah, that's what he needed. He hadn't had a break in months. Maybe if he were to just get away for a while it would solve his problem. He didnt know what else to do because right now if he stayed here any longer he was going to give into the temptations he was trying desperately to resist.

** Thanks guys! That's Chapter 2 in the books. Please leave a review. I want to give a shoutout to ThisAccountSupportsLoki for being my first review on this story! **

** Playlist for this chapter.**

** Vulnerable- Secondhand Serenade**  
** Human- Christina Perri **  
** Lose It All- Backstreet Boys **


	3. The End of Clarity

The next day Wanda hadn't laid eyes on Clint. Despite what transpired between them the night before it wasn't like him to avoid her. And it wasn't like Clint to just disappear. So, that night, when she still hadn't seen or heard from him, she picked up her phone.

She fully intended to text him, but she couldn't work up the nerve. After all, it really wasn't any of her business where he was. So, she threw her phone on the bed and took a shower to take her mind off of Hawkeye.

Meanwhile, a thousand miles away Clint sat on the porch of his farm house in Missouri. The night was so quiet. His bare feet were propped on the railing of the porch. A cup of black coffee in his left hand. The crickets were serenading him. He missed this...being here. He was, after all, just a simple man at heart.

But, being home wasn't the only thing he missed. He turned his phone over and over in his right hand. He wanted to text her, or better yet call her and hear her sweet voice. But, he couldn't. Not yet. Not until he had some clarity.

He knew she'd wonder where he'd run off to, and it cut him to think he might cause her any hurt or worry. He would text her in the morning...just to let her know he was taking some time off. With that thought resolved Clint closed his eyes and shut the world out.

5:27 am.

_**Hey, I just wanted to let you know I'm taking a couple days off. I'll be back next week**_.

5:28 am.

_**I know. Steve stopped by my room last night and told me.**_

There was a lot more Wanda wanted to say, and ask, but she left it at that.

Reading that Steve had stopped by her room sent an unbidden surge of jealously through Clint. He slammed the phone down on the kitchen table. He chided himself, knowing full well Steve would never go there. Still, it should be him in her room late at night...

_Then why aren't you there, you idiot?_

Clint couldn't help himself. He picked the phone back up, and before he could change his mind he text her back.

5:40 am.

_**I miss you.**_

Then, having a moment of cowardice he turned off his phone, tossed it on the counter and ventured outside to get some work done around the farm. He could see ole man Griffin getting ready to climb on the tractor.

"Hey, Griff!" He called out as he sprinted over to the barn.

"Clint? Boy, is that you?" The old man laughed.

"Its me alright." Clint hugged the man he trusted to take care of his farm while he was away.

"Well, why didn't you tell me you was coming?"

"Ahh, I didnt know till last minute. I got here last night."

The old man had been knowing Clint since he was a teenager, and he could see in his eyes something was amiss.

"I see. You wanna spit it out now or do I have to beat it outta ya?" Griff asked.

"What?" Clint asked nonchalantly.

"Why you're home...spur of the moment. Arriving in the night all secret-like."

Clint leaned against the tractor. "It is kind of a long story, but basically it all comes down to a girl."

Griff raised his eyebrows.

"A _woman_." Clint clarified.

And just like that Clint opened up about everything he'd been feeling for Wanda.

"Sounds like this Steve guy is right if you ask me." Griff shrugged.

Clint scoffed, "Anyways, I came out here to tell you to go home. I got this." He slapped the seat of the tractor.

"Hey boy, you dont have to tell me twice. I'll see ya." Griff limped slightly to his truck and Clint squinted against the morning sun as he watched him pull away.

Wanda pulled her phone from her back pocket. Her heart thudded heavily against her chest when she saw she had a text from Clint. She opened her phone and read the text he'd sent.

_**I miss you.**_

He missed her? Good because she felt like she was going mad without him. In the past two months he had become her best friend. The person she laughed with, and the only one who she let see her cry.

_**I miss you too, Clint.**_

She replied those five simple words, but there was so much more she wanted to say. So much more.

The day had turned to night and Clint was beat. He walked into the house letting the cold blast of air from the AC wash over him. He went to the sink and filled his glass with water. Wiping the sweat from his brow he caught a glimpse of his phone. He sat his glass down, and powered it on as he hopped up on the counter. His long fingers nervously tapped the counter until finally his phone vibrated.

_**I miss you too, Clint**_.

Reading those words made him want to run back to her as fast as he could, until he remembered why he had run so far away. He was trying to sort all this out.

_**What have you been up to today?**_

He knew it was a lame reply, but it was the safest thing he could think of sending. He waited twenty minutes for a reply, and then headed for the shower. He slowly climbed the stairs. He had forgotten just how brutal working the farm could be in July. He was sweaty. He was sunburned and he was exhausted.

He peeled off his clothes and stepped into the cool shower. He shivered and was tempted to turn more warm on, but he didnt want to aggravate his skin. As he got used to the temperature his body began to relax. It was easy to let his mind drift to Wanda in these moments. Her soft hair, that killer smile he loved coaxing out of her...

It was all too easy.

He hurried and finished rinsing off and hopped out, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around his waist. He pulled on a pair of boxers and headed back downstairs to get a drink. He checked his phone again.

Nothing.

He felt like an idiot, but he was disappointed. Still, he carried his drink and his phone back upstairs, setting them both close by. He scanned through tv channels mindlessly as he lounged in bed. It was getting close to midnight. Just as he was drifting off to sleep his phone started ringing.

Wanda.

"Hello." He said charmingly.

"Hey."

Ugh, he missed her voice.

"What's up?" He asked as he leaned back against the headboard.

"I missed you today." She confessed. It tore his heart in half.

"I missed you too, kid." It came out as a desperate whisper and Clint couldn't hide the longing in his voice.

"You did?"

"Yes. Is that so hard to beleive?" He chuckled.

"No. I was just hoping you really meant it."

"I do."

"Then come to the door and let me in."

**BAM. WHAT?!**

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	4. Where There is Desire

Clint cursed out loud when he hung up the phone. He frantically searched for his t-shirt, pulling it on over his head as he fumbled his way down the stairs. Wanda was here? His plan for staying away from her just took a serious nosedive.

He opened the door and sure enough there she was. Her long hair was braided loosely and tendrils of hair were falling at her face. She had on shorts and a loose fitting white t-shirt that fell off her shoulder. Clint was sure he'd never seen anything more beautiful ever in his life.

And definitely nothing as tempting...

"Surprise." She said.

"Uh, yeah. You could say that." Clint stammered while stepping aside for her to come in. "What are you doing here, Wanda?" He asked.

She sat her phone and keys down and turned to face him. "I told you, I missed you." She shrugged.

He considered himself to be a man of strong will, but he felt like that will was about to be tested. "And I missed you too. How did you get here?"

"I drove."

"You drove 16 hours by yourself?"

"It gave me a lot of time to think." Her eyes were intent on him and suddenly he was aware he was standing in front of her in his boxers and a t-shirt.

"About what?" He could feel his will bending.

"About why it would be a bad idea to come here...and about why it would be good." She answered as she moved closer to him.

Clint couldn't help himself. His hand reached out and stroked her cheek. "And what conclusion did you come to?"

"They both have the same answer..." she whispered as her face inched closer to his.

"Which is what?" He asked. His will was almost broken, and if she wanted to go there...He could smell her shampoo. Why was she so intoxicating?

"That we need each other, Clint."

She said it so matter-of-factly that suddenly Clint forgot why it was ever a bad idea. The sound of his will breaking was so loud inside his head. It was like a dam that wasn't strong enough to hold back a flood.

He leaned forward, pressing his lips to hers. Just a light kiss, testing the waters. But soon, he moaned as the moment he'd thought about finally came to life. Wanda wrapped her arms around him, bringing him closer to her. She wanted to feel every inch of him.

Her tongue tentatively searched for his and she was met with gusto. Suddenly, her hands were in his hair and his were sliding down her back. He was now very strongly aware of his attire. He pulled back from the kiss to catch his breath.

"Wanda..." he said. The husky tone of his voice caught him off gaurd. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

She gave him a smile and responded by kicking off her shoes and motioning for him to follow her up the stairs. He was in no position to argue. He watched the feminine sway of her hips as she climbed the stairs. When she reached the top she paused to wait for him. She wasn't waiting long as he took her hand and lead her to his bedroom.

"I've thought so many times about this." He confessed. His fingers found the elastic that held her braid and he carefully removed it. His hands gently unfolded her braid, letting her hair fall in soft waves down her shoulders.

"About what?" Her hands slid under his shirt, feeling the body she'd thought so many times about touching. In an instant the shirt was lying on the floor. Clint was content to let her nimble hands wander and explore.

"About being totally alone with you." His lips found hers again. "Kissing you. Holding you...having you." She trembled and then lifted her shirt slowly over her head, followed by her undershirt and bra and suddenly she was topless in front of him.

For a moment all he could do was stare. Woman, she definitely was.

"You don't know what you've been doing to me." His voice was desperate, seeking relief from whatever this feeling was that had pent up inside of him. He took her in his arms and gently laid her back on the bed.

He moaned as he experienced a new kind of heaven. Her hand went to the waistband of his boxers. She began pulling them down as best she could until he moved, and in a flash they were gone. Now it was her turn to stare.

Clint's hand went to the button on her shorts. He hesitated. She arched her hips up against him, signaling for him to continue. He did, and the rest of the night when by in a blur. Clint lost himself in her, his hands buried in her hair. Her face buried in his neck.

All the slight touches, long talks, and hidden feelings were blasted to life as they made love. Over and over again until the sun was shining through the curtains. Wanda was sprawled out across him, her lips kissing whatever skin they landed against.

He was running his fingers through her hair and wanting nothing more than for this moment to never end.

Wanda sighed. She wasn't sure what kind of risk she was taking by coming here last night. Part of her thought he'd turn her down. But, he didn't, and for the first time in a long time she felt whole. Right now in this moment she felt so incredibly normal. Clint's sleepy voice pulled her from her thoughts.

"I could use some coffee. What about you?" He asked.

"Coffee sounds good." She answered. He stood from the bed and again she found herself staring.

"Didn't anyone teach you it's impolite to stare, young lady?" He teased.

She uncovered herself from the sheet and Clint's eyes were immediately drawn to her.

"Point taken." He said and she laughed out loud.

She jumped up from the bed and followed him downstairs wrapped in a sheet, her hair a mess. Clint had never seen her like this before...totally vibrant, at ease. It always seemed like Wanda had the weight of the world in her shoulders. He liked her like this...barefoot and smiling in his kitchen.  
He handed her a mug and she sipped the coffee.

"Hungry?" He asked her.

"Starving."

She sat down at the kitchen table and watched Clint rummage for a skillet.

"What sounds good?" He asked as he rummaged through the refrigerator. "I'm sure there's something salvageable in here."

"I'm not picky." She answered. Clint turned to look at her over his shoulder.

"Is that right?" He teased her.

"Shut up, you know what I mean."

Clint laughed and continued his search for food.

"French toast?" He asked as he carried the ingredients over to the stove. Wanda nodded her approval.

She could stare at him for hours. She felt like she was seeing a whole new Clint. She had seen many sides of him, yes, but this was different. Here, in his home, with his defenses down. He was like a totally different man. Shirtless, and cooking her breakfast.

Wanda smiled and leaned back in the chair, propping her feet on the seat next to her.

"Make yourself at home." He teased her.

"Don't worry, I will." She teased back as she finished her cup of coffee.

She went to refill her cup and Clint caught her hand and pulled her to him. For a moment he just hugged her, and she melted into him.

"Did last night really happen?" She asked.

"Yeah, I think it did." Clint searched her face. "Why? Are you having regrets?"

She answered him by running her fingers through his hair and pulling his head down for a kiss.

"I'll take that as a "no"."

**Thank you to Bill, NESSAANCALIME6913, and Gameswat1 for reviewing! **

** We have switched to an M rating now just to be safe. **

** I had a pretty extensive playlist for this chapter as I was roadtripping with my husband and finding lyrical inspiration. Clint and Wanda have soooooo many songs I feel relate to them. I CAN'T WAIT to share more of their story with you all!**


	5. Storms

**Don't forget to review :)**

**Lyrics are from "Heaven Don't Have A Name" by Jeremy Renner.**

That night Clint woke up with a horrible feeling in his gut. He sat up in bed and watched Wanda sleeping peacefully beside him. Her lips parted slightly, and her body curved towards him.

He carefully got out of bed. It was storming and rain was pelting the window. His feeling of dread worsened. He couldn't quite put his finger on whatever it was. He tried to lay back down and fall asleep, but anxious thoughts were keeping him awake and it was 3:30 AM when Wanda found him sitting in a chair, staring out the bedroom window watching the storm as he sharpened arrows.

"Clint? What's wrong?"

For a moment he didn't answer because he had, at last put his finger on what was bothering him. For the first time ever he didn't want to go back. Its not that he didn't want to be an Avenger...but now there was something he wanted even more.

He'd told himself since they'd met that this would never happen. That he wouldn't let it happen.

He was so wrong.

"I can't sleep." He mumbled, never taking his eyes off the storm.

Wanda made her way over to him and sat herself down on his lap. She ran her fingers through his hair and he moaned slightly, closing his eyes. The arrows fell to the floor.

"May I?" She asked.

When Clint opened his eyes the room was filled with a red glow and he knew what she was asking. She wanted permission to enter his mind. Whether he granted it or not she could still read his thoughts. But she wouldn't...not unless he granted her access.

He nodded for her to go ahead. He was scared of what she would find, but he knew there was no use hiding anything from her.

Wanda dove into Clint's mind. The fresh memories of their bodies together. His overwhelming protective instincts towards her. His guilt about her brother. His sadness. His strength. And finally...what was keeping him awake.

Clint stared into her eyes as the room grew dark again.

"Clint. We have to go back. I have to..."

"I know. But what if we didn't?" He asked.

"I finally have a purpose, Clint. I want to be an Avenger. I need to do this...for Pietro. And for me too."

He hugged her tightly against him.

"I hope you understand..." She began.

"I do. Trust me. I get it. I know that nobody really walks away from this job. We don't get normal lives. Not like most people anyway."

Wanda's fingertips produced a red glow. "We are not like most people."

"You aren't, baby. But I am. I'm just a soldier. Nothing special." He shook his head. "Kiss me." He said. He was ready to change the subject, and he knew the perfect topic.

Wanda placed a gentle kiss on his shoulder, leaving a trail of light kisses on his collar bone, working her way up his neck. Clint growled low when her teeth found his earlobe, barely grazing across the sensitive flesh.

_**She's got the voodoo that'll make you believe Oh, she tastes like lipstick and Tanqueray**_

Once again he was falling under her spell, but tonight he planned to show her she wasn't the only one who could work magic. Soon enough they'd have to return to New York. He planned to make the most of their time alone.

He picked up her naked body and tossed her on the bed. Almost playful, and she would have laughed except when she looked into his eyes they were filled with a need and a lust. In one hand he brought her wrists above her head, pressing them into the bed, giving him free reign.

He looked down at her. "Do you know how crazy you make me?" His voice was deep and filled with longing.

"Show me." She half pleaded with him.

_**She keeps it old school Feels like rock n roll,**_  
_**but got that new groove So unpredictable, I gotta tell you,**_  
_**I'll never be the same.**_  
_**Heaven dont have a name.**_

She needed him just as much as he needed her. And she felt like she had always wanted him more. In this moment she wanted to be wanted. To be needed. To be desired above all else.

Clint could lose himself in her. He was afraid he would. He was terrified he would lose himself in her and that he would never fully make it back. Maybe he was right to be afraid of that...he probably was because as his lips claimed hers and they became one again he swore he would be hers forever.

Wanda never intended to lose herself in Clint. In fact, if anything, she felt like she found herself. They made love and not long afterwards Clint was again awoken suddenly. This time it was by the ringing of the phone.

He sat straight up. "Cap." He answered.

Wanda couldn't hear what Cap said, but her heart dropped when Clint hung up the phone.

"We have to go." She said. She didn't ask. She already knew.

"Duty calls."

_**I hear they call her danger,**_  
_** she's looking for a cheap shot**_  
_** She'll always be a stranger...**_  
_** So unpredictable I gotta tell you,**_  
_** I'll never be the same...**_  
_** I'll never be the same...**_  
_** Heaven don't have a name.**_

**Thank you so much to everyone who has followed/faved/reviewed. **


	6. I Told You So

**Four Months Post Ultron**

It was supposed to be just another recon mission. Nothing dangerous. Clint convinced Cap to let him go alone.

"What's the matter with you?" Wanda demanded as Clint prepared to take off in the smaller jet.

"What?" He laughed. "Worried about me?" He kissed her.

"Yes. I am." She said.

"Babe. I'm good at a few things. Watching and observing is one of them."

"You shouldn't be going alone."

Clint sat in the pilot's chair and turned it around to face her. "It's not a two person job." He shrugged.

"I should be going." She crossed her arms.

"No...you should be staying right here and finishing your training like a good little Avenger." He teased her, and when he smiled at her she finally caved.

"Fine."

"That's right. Now get over here and give me a proper goodbye."

Before she could Steve boarded the jet to go over the details with Hawkeye one final time. So they settled for a quick kiss and said "See you later." Wanda's heart skipped a beat when she watched the jet take off. She knew he shouldn't be going alone.

"He'll be fine. He's a good soldier." Steve said to her, but his words did nothing to help with the unease she was feeling.

Two months ago Clint tried to tell her they shouldn't go back. She had the feeling now that she should have listened. The jet was long gone and Wanda still stood staring at the sky.

Clint made his foot falls light on the rooftop of the German factory building. They had gotten intelligence that some stolen vibranium was going to be passing through this area. His mission was to simply observe the transfer and see if it was being sold by the man they suspected, Ulysses Klaue.

They'd been tracking his whereabouts since Ultron and they finally had something to go on. Granted, it wasnt much of anything. Which was why Clint was sent alone.

He watched through his binoculars at the black SUV that had just pulled up in the alley. He couldn't see anything. He needed a better vantage point. Quickly as he could he got on the ground. He'd stashed his bow on the rooftop. He wouldn't be needing it tonight.

Hands in the pockets of his leather jacket, jeans, black boots. He made his way down the alley. Not much commotion. The exhaust from the SUV fogged up the small space. As Clint got closer two men exited the vehicle. Armed.

_Bad time to ditch your bow, Hawkeye_.

"What do you think you're doing here?" One of the men asked.

"Just making my way back to the hotel over there." Clint motioned to the hotel entrance at the end of the alleyway.

"Not this way, you're not." The men flashed their guns.

Clint threw his hands up, "Okay. You win." He turned on his heels and started walking away.

"Wait!" He heard a voice call. "I know you."

Klaue.

Clint turned to face him. "Uh, no I don't think so buddy."

"Yeah. I do. You're with Stark."

"Nope." Clint's eyes darted, searching for an exit.

He'd been made.

"Where's your little bow and arrow?" Klaue asked.

Clint steeled his expression. "I won't need a bow and arrow to take you out."

It all happened so fast after that. Clint and the two men fought. They fired their weapons, missing him. He disarmed them of their guns, and was going for Klaue when felt something hot pierce through his side. Klaue used Clint's distraction to get away. Someone had heard the gunfire and called the police.

Clint leaned against the wall and put a hand to his side. He could feel the blood gushing and he was starting to get dizzy. He pulled out his phone and called Cap.

Steve answered.

"Cap. Yeah. We have a problem..."

Clint was fighting to stay awake. He was fighting so hard. He wasn't sure how much time had passed. He didn't even remember hanging up his phone, but the next thing he knew he was waking up in the jet.

"Simple recon, huh Rogers?" Clint heard Tony Stark's voice.

"It was." Steve slammed his fist against the wall.

"No. Nothing about Klaue is simple. You should have filled me in."

"There wasn't time. And guess what, I don't have to run any of my decisions past you." Steve argued.

Clint coughed. "Now now boys, settle down."

Tony walked over to him. "Stay down, Legolas. You've been stabbed."

"Oh. That must be why it feels like I've been stabbed." Clint said dryly.

"I've patched you up as best I could. Stopped the bleeding, but you're going to the infirmary first thing. No arguing."

"Can you tell us what happened?" Steve asked.

"I was made." He coughed and wheezed a bit, "By Klaue." He closed his eyes. "How did you guys get there so fast?"

"Wanda. She insisted something wasnt right. We were already in Germany when you called." Steve said.

"Where is she?" Clint asked.

"She's fine. She's waiting for you at home." Tony assured him.

They let Clint rest and continued their argument in the corner out of his earshot. Not that it mattered. He was unconscious for the rest of the trip.

When the jet touched down Wanda was there. And when he woke up in his own bed the next day, she was sitting beside him.

"I told you." She said.

He reached for her hand and maybe it was just the situation, but Clint could swear she hesitated before slipping her hand into his.

"Yes, you did."

She used her free hand wipe a tear away. She squeezed his hand tighter and bit her lip to keep from sobbing. The sinking feeling she'd had didn't go away, it only worsened and she begged Steve to go after him. It was only when Tony overheard that Klaue was involved did they leave.

If she hadn't insisted to Cap. If Tony hadn't been there to fix him up...she squeezed her eyes shut tightly to push the images away.

She could have lost him. She almost did.

Clint had been healing her heart since the day she got here. And now...he was the cause of its breaking.

"Hey babe. Look at me. I'm here. I'm gonna be fine." He assured her.

"I thought I lost you..." she confessed.

"But you didn't. Now, get yourself in this bed with me." He gently pulled on her hand. She carefully situated herself beside him and laid his head on her chest. She played with his hair until he drifted off to sleep again.

**Okay y'all, let me confess this was a really hard chapter for me to write. I dont know why, it just was. I hope you guys enjoyed it. **

** Let me know :) Thank you for the favs, follows, and reviews! **


	7. Friends and Lovers

"Hey hey, look who it is!" Sam called out across the field. Applause broke out for Clint as he made his way to stand by Steve.

"Okay, okay. Yes, it is my first day back on the job. Lets not get all mushy about it."

Steve clapped him on the back and Clint winced inwardly. Still a bit sore. And still unable to pull back his bow. But he wasnt going to let anyone know those two things. Well, anyone other than the woman standing beside him, holding his hand.

She had stood by him through this, and in return she got to see the vulnerability under the bravado. She saw him grimace in pain. She saw him push forward through it. She witnessed his strength and stubbornness as he did everything he could to get back into fighting shape.

Wanda now knew the real Hawkeye. The real Clint Barton. Just a man. She had seen him unmade, and she still wanted him. Clint treasured her even more now.

As the days went on Clint pushed himself harder, and harder despite Cap and Wanda warning him to take it easy and pace himself. Two weeks had passed and Clint was well on the mend. It barely even hurt to draw back his bow anymore...That was the most aggravating part of this stupid injury, not being able to shoot.

He glanced at her as they walked hand in hand through the park. There was something on her mind. There had been all day. She was unusually silent. So, he pulled her to a stop.

"Alright, why don't you tell me what's on your mind, kid."

She smiled at him. "I'm supposed to be the one with the psychic abilities."

"I'm a man of hidden talents." He smirked and her mind flashed to the bedroom.

She took a deep breath, "I wish you'd slow down. You're rushing yourself."

"What are you talking about?" He lifted up his shirt, "I'm 100%, see." He winked.

Wanda pulled his shirt down. "Maybe to the rest of the world...but I know differently."

Clint brushed her off, "You worry about me too much."

He took her hand and continued walking. "You know Tony is throwing a party for Thor tomorrow night."

"Yes..." she smiled at him.

"Wanna be my date?" He raised his eyebrows at her.

"Hmmm, what does that entail?"

"Wearing a nice dress, dancing with me..." he pulled her against his chest, "Going home with me." He nuzzled her ear.

"I think I can handle that."

...

This world was all new to Wanda. The world of crystal champagne glasses, gods, high technology and penthouse suites. As she stepped into the room she suddenly felt so out of place.

Earlier that day Nat offered to take her shopping to pick out something for the party. With Nat's help she picked out a black, knee length dress that clung to her body. It covered one arm completely in a sleeve, and the other side was strapless.

Pepper helped her fix her hair, and it was swept up in an elegant swirl. Tendrils of hair fell in curls around her face. Her eyes swept the room for Clint. She didn't know why she was so nervous.

Clint was at the bar talking and mingling. He sensed Wanda's presence and turned around in time to see her enter the room. She was looking for him. He sat his drink down and sprinted over to her.

"Um, hello gorgeous!" He kissed her cheek and took her hand. She blushed and Clint knew...

He was falling. Truth was, he'd already fallen.

However, he wasn't ready to admit it just yet. So, instead of confessing to her everything he was feeling he lead her onto the dance floor. His hand on her lower back, the other holding her hand as they danced slowly. For a moment everyone's eyes were on them.

"I thought you were the best dancer, Rogers?" Tony quipped from the bar.

"I can hold my own." Steve commented.

Natasha sat her drink down and grabbed Steve by his jacket, "Prove it, fossil." She winked at him.

"I think that's our cue." Tony grabbed Pepper's hand.

It seemed like lovers and friends were filling the dance floor. Wanda laid her head on Clint's chest. "I wish Pietro could see this..." she whispered sadly.

Clint kissed her forehead, "So do I, babe...so do I."

It wasn't long before Clint had drawn her out of her bittersweet mood. He knew her best. He could always make her smile. Wanda danced until she needed to take her shoes off, and her hair was falling down. Then she danced some more. Clint watched as she and Nat tore up the dance floor, laughing and singing together.

Steve glanced at Clint as he was leaning on the bar watching them.

"Have you told her yet?" Steve asked.

Clint sighed, "Not yet. I've been avoiding it. She thinks I'm not ready...and I didn't want to ruin tonight for her."

"Barton..."

"I know." He downed his drink and slammed the glass on the bar with more force than he'd intended. "I'll tell her tonight."

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	8. Where It All Went Wrong

"You're what? You're not serious, Clint. Tell me you aren't."

Wanda wrenched herself out of Clint's arms and sat up in bed. He reached for her and she threw back the blankets and jumped out of bed.

"_Don't_!"

Clint sighed, he knew she wasn't going to take the news of his latest assignment well. He raked a hand through his hair. He stared at her wearing nothing but his t-shirt, and propped himself up on his elbow.

"Why are you so upset, babe? You knew I was getting back into action sooner or later."

She gave him a seething look. "It should be later." She threw her hands up in the air, "And you KNOW that, Clint."

He jumped out of bed, "That's for me to decide. Not you. Not anybody else." He pointed a finger at her.

Wanda looked at him, or was she looking through him? Suddenly, Clint couldn't tell the difference.

"Clint, you were stabbed. Pretty seriously. I wish you'd just take it easy."

"I can't take it easy forever Wanda!"

He stopped and grabbed her shoulders gently, running his hands down her arms.

"I'm sorry you're worried. But, no I'm not sorry for doing my job." He whispered.

"_Worried_? Worried doesn't even begin to touch it! I lost my brother...not even five months ago. My heart is STILL broken! You make it better. You saved me from myself. But then, you turn around and leave without a care...taking stupid risks. You could have DIED! Do you know what that would do to me?" She realized she was yelling and lowered her voice.

He walked away, kicking his laundry basket out of the way and across the room. "Yes! I do know. When I was laying in that alley all I could think about was you...how much time we still had left. How I didnt want to leave you alone..."

"But..." she said.

"But this is my job, Wanda. Its _our_ job. At the end of the day there will always be risks. There arent any guarantees that either one of us will make it back at the end of the day." He made his way back to her.

She stared off into the distance. Clint tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"But hey, I plan to do everything in my power to make it back to you every night." He smiled. She didn't.

"What?" He asked.

"I dont think I can do this..." she whispered.

"Be an Avenger?"

"Be...with you." She choked out.

Clint put his hands on his hips, "Explain..." He was confident that whatever she had to say he could change her mind. She was his best friend.

"I care about you too much. Too much. I feel like dying every time I think that something horrible could happen to you...just like it did to Pietro. And then what? He died for you, Clint." She shut her mouth before she said something she knew she really didn't mean.

"So your solution is to just...what?"

"I need to distance myself from you, I think."

Clint laughed out loud. It was a sad laugh, the kind that breaks a heart.

"This isn't easy for me. Its so hard, Clint. I think we should just focus on our jobs."

Clint shook his head in indignant disbelief.

"Wanda. Stop it."

She began to cry and the sinking feeling in his heart hurt a thousand times worse than getting stabbed.

She grabbed her shorts and swung open the door and bolted from the room without another word.

Clint stepped out into the hall and called after her, "Wanda!" He wanted to follow her. He wanted to chase her down and save her from her broken heart. He wanted to turn back time and change everything. But, his feet didn't move.

Wanda choked down a sob and shut herself in her room. She cried for a long time. She sobbed until all her tears were spent and she fell asleep on her bedroom floor still wearing Clint's shirt.

When she woke up the next morning she washed her face, pulled back her hair and reported for training. She knew Clint was already gone. Cap was too. And Natasha. Whatever mission this was, it must be serious. Wanda's heart was crushed, and as hard as she tried she couldn't keep her mind off Clint.

That night, as she slept she dreamed of Hawkeye. The dream ended with her waking herself up calling his name and her face soaked with tears and when Cap and Natasha returned the next evening...they were alone.

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** Thanks to everyone who has already followed and favorited and left a review. **

** I have been swimming in my ENDGAME feelings this week. Anyone else still traumatized or is it just me?**


	9. Two Steps Back

**6 Months Post Ultron**

_**I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to save me.**_  
_**This all or nothing really got a way of driving me crazy.**_  
_**I need somebody to heal.**_  
_**Somebody to know,**_  
_**Somebody to have,**_  
_**Somebody to hold,**_  
_**It's easy to say,**_  
_**But it's never the same.**_  
_**I guess I kinda liked the way you numbed all the pain.**_

Clint swirled the beverage in his coffee cup. It was a cold november night. He could see his breath as he sat out on the porch. The night air made him feel alive. He was home. He sipped his beverage slowly. It wasn't coffee. These days, it took something stronger to help him sleep at night.

He stood up slowly, careful not to aggravate his healing injuries. He grunted as the cold air made his joints stiff and sore. He swung open the front door and hung his cowboy hat on the coat rack.

He glanced at his answering machine, knowing there wouldn't be any messages. He hadn't had a cell phone since it happened, and these days he was pretty much off the grid. He made his way upstairs, slowly. He undressed and fell asleep on top of the blankets.

_**Now the day bleeds into nightfall,**_  
_**And you're not here to get me through it all.**_  
_**I let my guard down,**_  
_**And then you pulled the rug.**_  
_**I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved.**_

Wanda smiled at Sam as he cracked a joke about Cap. She actually laughed out loud. It felt good. She loved this family.

"Hey, I heard that!" Steve said playfully.

"I didn't whisper." Sam replied.

"I'll see you boys in the morning." Wanda touched Sam's shoulder.

"Night." They both called out after her.

When she was gone Sam looked at Steve.

"She seems to be doing better."

"Yeah. She's been through a lot. First her brother, then Barton, but nobody can be strong forever." Steve shrugged.

Sam nudged his friend's arm. "She knows we're here for her."

"Yeah." Steve said. But, he knew more than most.

Later that night he knocked on her door.

"Can I come in?"

"Sure." Wanda said, "What's up?"

Steve crossed his arms over his chest. "Nothing. I just wanted to see how you were doing...privately."

Wanda's smile couldn't hide her pain. "One day at a time." She sat on her bed. "I miss him."

Steve sat beside her, "I know. I wish I could change things for you. And for him."

She nodded silently. "I thought it would get easier, but I think its getting harder."

She let her walls come down, and Steve was shocked at how well she had been hiding her pain.

"You know, you got everyone thinking you're fine."

She squeezed her eyes shut. "I'm not."

_**I'm going under and this time I fear there's no one to turn to.**_  
_**This all or nothing way of loving got me sleeping without you.**_  
_**I need somebody to know.**_  
_**Somebody to heal,**_  
_**Somebody to have,**_  
_**Just to know how it feels.**_  
_**It's easy to say but it's never the same.**_  
_**I guess I kinda liked the way you helped me escape**_.

Clint lined up his arrow. His hands were shaking. He hadn't picked up his bow in months. It actually had dust on it which was a crime in his eyes.

He pulled back and let loose. The arrow pierced heavily through the center of the target. He smiled, satisfied with himself.

"Still got it, Hawkeye."

He fired off a dozen more before collecting his arrows and going inside to warm up. It was December and the first snow of the season was blanketing his farm.

He threw off his gloves and looked at the machine. Nothing. He set his quiver and bow down on the kitchen table. His house was silent. The stairs creaked under his weight as he ascended to his bedroom.

He turned on the shower. With his clothes on the floor he stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. His scars were still fresh. Now a part of his reality, he barely even noticed them anymore. The stab wound on his side now had several similar wounds keeping it company.

He stepped into the hot spray of the shower and moaned with relief as it eased his tense joints and muscles. He leaned his head against the shower wall and just like it did every night his mind went to her. He ached for her. He missed her laugh, her touch, her friendship.

Tears threatened to Come but he willed them not to fall. It was all for the best. As much as it was slowly killing him, now he felt she had a chance to move on. A chance to shine. Maybe he was just in the way before. He hoped she was okay...and not that deep down he knew he was a fool.

It was his decision not to go back. He could have did his recovery in New York, but he couldn't face Wanda. She was right. He wasn't ready and it had cost him.

_"Take me home." He sputtered as he coughed up blood._

_"Lay down, Clint!" Nat ordered._

_"Home." He demanded._

_Nat looked to Steve and he nodded._

_"I think I'm finished." He choked._

_"No...you can heal and-"_

_"Nat!" Clint cut her off, "I'm done."_

_Not another word was said or asked about it. They helped him into the house, and made sure he had everything he needed. As they were leaving Natasha took his hand._

_"I just want you to be happy." She kissed his cheek._

_With one eye swollen shut and a swollen lip he touched his forehead to hers. He probably would never be truly happy again, but if he could spare Wanda any pain he was okay with that._

_Clint watched as the jet took off and was quickly out of sight._

He remembered that horrible feeling when he realized he may never see Wanda again. Tonight he was having that feeling again. The feeling that made him want to drown himself in a bottle. That feeling that made him never want to wake up.

**Lyrics- Someone You Loved by Lewis Capaldi**

**Wow guys! Clint has weaved a pretty tangled web here. Obviously I didn't go into detail about what happened specifically on their mission. Things went wrong and that's the bottom line.**

**He thinks that he's sparing Wanda the pain of seeing him hurt and constantly worrying about him. But unfortunately he's just really putting her through it. Ugh these two.**

**Review :)**


	10. Unsaid, Undone

**Thank you to everyone who has sent a follow/ fav/review! You rock! **

Clint looked at the woman sitting across from him and wondered how he got so lucky. Having her as a friend was one of his greatest treasures in this messed up life.

"Sometimes, I wake up and think I'll find her next to me. I really do, Nat. I think I'll just wake up and she'll be there. Like it never happened. Like I never-"

"Walked away?" Natasha finished his sentence.

Clint sat back in his chair. They were sitting at his kitchen table, and she had been catching him up on everything he had missed. He was willing himself not to care.

He was failing miserably.

"You let her go, Clint."

"I know."

"So why can't you let her go?"

"I wish I knew." He scoffed, "You know, I didn't think it would be this hard. Kinda thought I'd be over it by now."

Natasha eyed her old friend cautiously. "Do you want to know what I think?"

"Sure." He replied.

"I think that you left a lot of things unsaid. Its eating you up, Clint. You left her hanging and you know...You know it wasn't right."

Clint was silent. Nat was right. And it was the reality he had come face to face with over the weeks of his healing process. He was wrong.

"To be fair," he started, "When I made the decision not to go back she had already broken things off with me. And, might I add that my guts were on the outside of my body." He pointed a finger at her. She smiled her one in a million smile at him.

"I was there front and center."

"Right so, I can't really be blamed for making poor choices. Given the circumstances." He reasoned.

Nat shrugged and grabbed her gun off the table. "You ready for some practice?"

"I don't need practice." He said.

Truth was, "practice" was all he did these days, and it was getting old. He followed Nat out into the field to shoot. The February day was bright and sunny, but the cold temperature had a nasty bite. She looked so cute all bundled up, earmuffs covering her ears and one of his scarves around her neck. Clint smiled at her.

"Ever think about coming back?" She asked as she lined up her target.

"I don't know, maybe. For the right reason."

"Alien apocalypse?" She laughed.

"Yeah, something along those lines."

They spent the rest of the afternoon doing target practice and when the sun was setting Natasha said her goodbyes. For one weak moment Clint thought about asking her to stay with him. He didn't want to be alone. But instead, he walked her to the door.

"Do you think she'll ever forgive me?" He asked.

"Probably not. But you won't know if you never ask." She kissed his cheek and slipped a cell phone into his hand.

Watching Nat leave was hard. She had been his only visitor during his self imposed isolation, and lately he longed for human interaction. He carried the phone upstairs with him, pulled out his nightstand drawer and tossed it inside.

Wanda had gone a whole day without thinking of Clint. She was staring out her bedroom window, biting her fingernail when she happened to look up and see Natasha walking by.

There was no mistaking where she'd been. The far away look in Nat's eyes gave her away. She had been to see Clint. And just like that, Wanda wanted him. She wantes to apologize. She wanted to slap him. She wanted to change everything. She would if she could.

Nat semi avoided eye contact and Wanda felt a harsh pang of jealousy. Probably so much better suited for Clint than herself, Natasha had known him much longer. She wondered what sort of things they discussed. If they talked about her? Or if they steered clear of that particular subject.

She didn't know, but either way now she was thinking of Clint. And for once she was okay with that. It didn't hurt as much, or cut as deep as it had. Now, it was just a dull ache. Not as sharp, not as hot, not as painful. She thought of him and smiled.

For the first time in a long time.


	11. Words Never Said

**9 Months Post Ultron**

A Tornado Watch was in effect for the whole county. Storms like this were rare this time of year. Clint sat staring out his bedroom window watching the storm. Rain slammed against the window loudly, and thunder rolled, shaking the house. This night took him back to the night he asked Wanda to stay. The night he was ready to face a world of new possibilities.

If she would have said yes that night he could have hung up the bow and never looked back. They would have started a family. They would have been happy...or maybe he was just kidding himself believing that.

Maybe that's his fantasy. A life without war, conflict, freaking aliens from outer space. A simple life where he can work the farm, fall asleep with a loving woman in his arms. Someday, have children. This was a big place after all. It would be nice to fill it up with little archers.

That night could have set that in motion. But, in looking back, maybe he was wrong to ever ask that of her. She had been through a living nightmare. Experimented on, tortured, endured the death of her parents, her brother...

Clint smiled wistfully. He knew in that moment that yes, he had been wrong. They were at different points in their lives. She was just starting out, and here he was facing retirement from the "avenging" business. But, it felt so right to hold her. To kiss her. To keep her close.

Flashes of that night surfaced in his thoughts. He could almost smell her hair. Thunder shook the house once more and Clint stood from the window. He walked to the nightstand and pulled out the phone Nat have him.

He contemplated several times about what he was about to do.

_I don't know what this is or what it isn't,_  
_But it feels like we've got unfinished business._  
_Cause we left blood the on the tracks,_  
_Sweat on the saddle,_  
_Fire in the hills,_  
_A bullet in the barrel,_  
_Words never said in a story that didn't end._  
_Looks like you're on the mend and I'm on the bottle._  
_We folded our hands with money on the table._  
_Tried moving on, but I keep coming back again To what could've been..._

**9:59 PM.**

_**Wanda, hey... its Clint**_.

Wanda rolled over in bed and grabbed her phone from her nightstand. Her heart, her traitor of a heart, beat faster when she read the text frim the unknown number. Clint Barton was the last person she expected to text her in the middle of the night. Her fingers trembled as she text a simple response.

_**Hey.**_

Okay, she text back...now what? She waited...until...

_**There's a lot I want to say. Firstly, I'm sorry. About everything...**_

Wanda curled up in bed with her phone in her hand, and text him again.

_**I'm sorry too. We both made mistakes, Clint. I'm just happy you're okay.**_

Clint walked downstairs and decided to make a pot of coffee. He read her message and smiled. They spent the night texting each other, getting caught up with their lives. Wanda smiled every time her phone buzzed. She had missed her best friend so much. So very much.

Every now and then she would read a message and wonder if he was subtly flirting with her. She brushed it off. Even if he was...it meant nothing. She questioned herself as well. Talking to Clint was like coming home, and she found herself being very open. But...she was always open with him.

Clint dozed off to sleep around 4:00 AM with a smile on his face. Happy, and content that there was no bad blood between himself and Wanda. He waited much too long to make it right between them. She seemed happy to hear from him, and it was hard to keep is casual. Much harder than he expected.

At times he wanted to dive right back in. Tell her everything. Tell her he loved her. He never got a chance to tell her that before...maybe if she knew...

_A couple more simple I'm sorrys._  
_A little less tryna be right._  
_I wonder how many good mornings we wasted cause we didn't say goodnight._  
_One touch before we fell asleep,_  
_Just before our love was out of reach._  
_Could've been enough, could've saved us from this loneliness_.

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**Lyrics belong to Gone West. **


	12. Fantasy

He knew he was crazy. Nuts. Completely insane. She made him that way. Wanda got into his heart, into his mind in crazy, foreign ways. He'd spent the past few months boarded up in his house. No one to talk to. No one to touch...

Maybe that was his issue. He didn't know. What he did know was that parking a mile away and running to her was messed up. Secretly scaling up to her room, knocking on her window and falling into her arms, however messed up, felt so right.

He had this...need. She wanted it as badly as him. Her eagerness as all too intoxicating and inviting to him. He felt it from a thousand miles away.

His hands were in her hair, pulling, feeling. Her fingers found the buttons on his plaid shirt and made quick work of shedding it. It came in flashes then. Their bodies. Her voice. Her fingernails digging into his skin, his teeth grazing her shoulder. It felt so good. So good...

Clint's eyes flew open, and his breath caught in his throat. He looked around his bedroom. His mind coming to grips with the dream.

Just a dream.

His head fell back heavily on the pillow. He grabbed his phone and did the only thing he could think to do. He called her.

"Clint? Everything okay?" Wanda's voice was like a healing balm on a wound.

"Hey kid. Yeah, I was just um...just thinking about you." He pulled the blankets up and rolled onto his side.

Wanda laughed. She hadn't been to sleep yet. Truth was, she had been doing some thinking as well, and fighting the urge to text him and wake him up. She put the phone on speaker as she got ready for bed.

"What's so funny?" He asked.

"I was thinking about you too."  
Clint sighed. "So what are you doing while randomly thinking about me?"

Wanda pulled her shirt over her head and reached for her nightshirt. An old shirt of Clint's that she just couldn't part with despite everything.

"Actually, I'm getting ready for bed."

Clint smiled to himself. Remembering their nighttime routine, and wishing he was with her.

"I wish I was there." He didn't know why he confessed that, but it was too late to take it back now. "I miss you, Wanda."

She sat down on the bed. Her eyes glanced around the room. She was never alone, but somehow she managed to feel lonely. Clint had been her best friend and lover not so very long ago. And when you suddenly lose that person, no matter the circumstance it hurts. It leaves a void.

"Clint...I miss you too."

The line was silent. A million things they both wanted to say, but neither of them knew how. Or perhaps they were just too afraid.

"Wanda, listen I'm thinking about coming to New York for a few days. Want me to swing by?"

There.

He put it out there.

Wanda's mind immediately went to their current mission. Steve felt they were closing in on Bucky Barnes. Could be weeks, maybe days before she was needed again...

But, she still had to be ready.

Lately she had been pushing herself intensely. Maybe too intensely. She didn't want anything to throw her off. An impromptu visit from Clint Barton was something she felt would imbalance her focus.

"I'm sorry, Clint. I don't think I'd have time to see you. Im staying pretty busy." She half lied and she hated herself for it because deep down she knew that seeing him would be wonderful, and the reasons she gave him were lies. Not to mention everything she'd just told herself.

As soon as the words left her mouth she wanted to take them back. She wanted him around. More than anything. And the silence she heard on the other end of the line was enough to break her heart in two.

Clint took the rejection like a champ this time around though, "Okay, kid. I get it. Mind the mission."

Wanda sighed, "I hope this mission ends soon. It has everyone on edge."

Clint accepted the change of subject. "Bucky?"

"How did you know?" Wanda asked.

"Nat filled me in a bit when she was here."

"I'll be glad when its over."

Clint could hear the weariness in her voice. All he wanted was to make her feel safe. He knew she was more than capable and a guy like him keeping her safe would probably be laughable to anyone. But he reminded himself that she chose him. When she was alone, when she needed a friend he was there for her.

He knew he knew her better than anyone. Not just intimately, but on a level that many people didn't reach. They were connected. Not just by the death of Pietro, but by their shared experiences. Being without her this long was killing him. He was sure of it...killing him slowly.

"I wish I could hold you." His voice was so soft...Wanda barely heard it.

Her breath caught in her throat and butterflies danced their way up into her chest.

"I wish that too." She confessed. "Maybe when this is all over..."

"When this is all over there will be another mission, and another...that's the life we signed up for, kid."

"We? I thought you were retired."

Clint sighed, "I dont think I'll ever get to retire fully. The universe won't leave me alone."

Wanda was silent because lately she'd been having the same feeling. She would never have a normal life...What was normal anyway?

"I'll let you get some sleep, kid."

"Bye." She whispered.

And just like that the line went dead.

Clint tossed his phone across the room and pulled the covers over his head. No matter how hard he tried, Wanda wasn't letting him back in. Maybe it was for the best. Maybe they were better off apart, but he didn't care. He would fight for her.

**Hey guys, sorry it has been a while since the last update. Go ahead and leave a review!**

** Thanks to all who have shown this story love. **

** I've been reading Hawkeye and Wanda's story line in the comics so that's been giving me some inspiration :)**


	13. This Hand Is Bitterness

**CIVIL WAR**

Wanda was laying in her bed. She hadn't been out of bed in days. After all the destruction she had caused, she didn't feel like showing her face to the world. Or her friends. She hadn't talked to anyone in days, save the occasional screaming at Vision to quit walking through her walls.

She hadn't answered any calls from Clint since it happened and honestly she expected him to show up at any moment. And...the more time that passed without him coming, the more depressed she became. She would give anything to just be held right now.

She knew she needed to get up and pull herself out of it, but not today. Today she just wanted to shut the world out. For one more day.

_**Who told us we'd be rescued?**_  
_**What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?**_  
_**We're asking why this happens,**_  
_**To us who have died to live?**_  
_**It's unfair...**_

Clint couldn't bring himself to turn on the television. Yesterday, Steve called him and told him what happened. His precious girl...his...world. A fresh pang of hurt ripped into his heart. What she must be going through. How she must be feeling. The pain she must be enduring.

He stood in his kitchen with his hands braced on the counter, and his head hung sourly. Suddenly, his phone rang. Before the first ring was finished he answered.

"Cap."

He figured this was coming. Maybe he wasn't so retired after all. What good was retirement if you didn't have anyone to share it with, right? He figured he had one more run in him.

Steve's voice was wrought with tension. The conversation lasted for 30 seconds. He needed to head to Germany, but there was a stop he had to make first. He cursed at the butterflies that danced inside him when he thought about seeing her.

His happiness was short-lived however when he let sink in the reason for his trip to Germany. How did it come to this? Choosing sides? He scoffed as he placed his bow case in the back of his truck. He hoped nobody shot him in the back.

The drive to New York brought up all the things Clint had been trying to avoid for the past few months. His emotions. His true feelings. His desires, and wants and needs.

He would do this thing for Steve, but afterwards he was finished. He may never retire, but he never wanted to get another call up like he'd recieved today. Call it selfish, he didn't care. It was ridiculous that the call made his blood race and stomach flip at the same time.

Clint picked up the phone. Should he call and let her know he was coming? No. She wouldn't go with him. The wheels in his clever mind began planning their escape and how he would convince Vision to let them go.

He wouldn't.

The only choice would be for Wanda to overpower him. If she would. Clint had no idea what he would be walking into as far as Wanda was concerned...and that worried him.

Wanda pulled herself out of bed today. She was still hating herself, but a girl had to eat. Her heart was so heavy. She was miserable at best. Still, she came out of her solitary confinement. Most everyone was gone. Things were coming to a head between Steve and Tony, and Wanda got the feeling that Bucky Barnes was somewhere in the middle.

_**This hand is bitterness,**_  
_**We want to taste it, let the hatred numb our sorrow,**_  
_**The wise hands opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow...**_

Vision tried joking with her to pull her out of her mood and she smiled, but it was only skin deep. Suddenly, an explosion lit up the sky. She and Vision headed to the window. He was gone in an instant to investigate.

That's when Wanda felt that she wasn't alone. She hurled a knife through the air with her mind, stopping short when she realized who had entered the building... Before she even turned around she knew. The breath rushed from her lungs. Her heart pounded in her ears. He came. He was here.

**_This is what it means to be held._**  
**_How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life,_**  
**_And you survive._**  
**_This is what it is to be loved._**  
**_And to know that the promise was, _****_When everything fell we'd be held_**.

Clint smiled.

"Guess I shoulda knocked."

**Gahhh. I love that moment in the movie. **

**Lyrics are from "Held" by Natalie Grant. It is such an elegant and poignant song. Its about loss. Wada is feeling some very heavy loss. Its also about not understanding WHY things happen, but having faith that everything will be okay in the end. I felt like it was the perfect soundtrack for Wanda right now. **

**Thank you to anyone who is still showing interest in this story! Much Love!**


	14. When The Past Comes Knocking

**Hey guys! Sooooo this story has changed directions, I hope you guys will appreciate the new flow. If you dig it LET ME KNOW :)**

Germany ended exactly the way Clint suspected it would.

Horribly.

He was finally home and after the hellish time he'd endured recently, he decided if he never left his farm again that would be okay with him. As far as the issue with Wanda...well, somehow being locked up tends to put things in perspective.

He no longer yearned for her. His undying devotion wasn't lingering on the tip of his tongue. And, he hadn't dreamed of her in weeks. He did miss her, but he knew he had no business trying to stir anything up between them.

Clint was content to let things go between them, and as far as he knew Wanda felt the same way. He was back to living off the grid. No cell phone. It was much too tempting for him to keep a valid means of communication to her.

He was feeling it again though. The lonliness. The ache...for someone. Most days he worked the farm from sun up until sun down. It was an efficient way to keep his mind off of other things. He ended the nights with a cup of coffee usually, but tonight he poured himself a glass of Tennessee's finest and kicked back in front of the fireplace.

His head was beginning to swim when he heard an unexpected knock at the door. His hand instinctively reached for the dagger he kept on the end table.

Another knock rattled his front door.

"Clint, its me!"

He swung open the door, "Natasha? What are you doing here?"

She shrugged and pushed easily past him inside. The fire was the only light in the room, and his breath caught in his traitorous chest when she turned to face him. His mind was playing tricks on him. He sat back down.

She made her way to the kitchen, "I came to see how you're doing. Figured I was due for a visit." She jerked open the fridge.

"I'm starving. There's nothing in here." She called over her shoulder.

"I wasnt expecting company."

"I'm ordering pizza." She plopped herself down on the couch beside him. Clint downed his drink and stared into the fire.

"How have you been?" She asked as she scooted closer and leaned her head on his shoulder.

He sighed and sunk down into the couch with Nat settling down against him, her legs folded under her. She thought nothing of the act...she and Clint were very familiar with each other. Always had been. Always would be.

Clint kissed her forehead. "Have you heard from Steve?" He asked.

"That's where I've been."

"How's he doing?"

"He's okay. He says hi." She took a breath and sighed. "He's...hurt."

"I wish I never would have gotten involved." Clint murmured. "Never would have gone back to New York. Never would have..." He grunted and cut himself off from...whatever it was he was about to say.

"Did you tell her?" Natasha's voice was a whisper.

"No. I didn't."

"Why?"

"I dont know, Nat. By the time I got to her...Something in me changed. I think maybe it was a mistake all along." He said blandly.

They were both silent for a minute. "Well, it wasn't." She said simply. "It is never a mistake to love someone."

"I did love her. And I mean I'll always care for her. I'd die to protect her..." He trailed off.

"But what Clint?"

"I know I loved her, but...it wasn't the same feeling that I've had before when I was in love."

His eyes glided over to hers and she smiled.

"-but, that doesn't mean it wasnt special. Ya know? I just think she's better without me there." He shrugged.

"And you'll always be friends." Nat said matter-of-factly.

"Yep, and she knows that."

"I know she does. To be honest I think Vision has a thing for her." Nat laughed.

"Tell me something I don't already know." Clint joked.

Natasha closed her eyes as she leaned against Clint's chest.

"I've never been in love like I was the first time either."

She felt Clint's breathing change. She could faintly hear his heartbeat speed up. Innocent flirtation was the trademark of their relationship. They never talked about their past. No one knew. And they liked it that way.

"We were just a couple of kids, huh." He scoffed.

"We were a lot of things."

The fire crackled as silence filled the space around them. Clint didn't move a muscle, and neither if them said a word until there was a knock on the door.

"Pizza's here."

** Please leave a review. There has been declining interest in this story so I'm not sure if I'll be continuing if no one is interested lol.**


	15. At Sunset

Welcome back guys! Its been a minute! I hope you enjoy this chapter! Listening to Ellie Goulding on repeat while I wrote this haha! Specifically Love Me Like You Do and Anything Could Happen.

Clint wiped his brow as he plopped himself down in his rocking chair on the front porch. Another long day working the farm, and his body ached. It was turning into autumn now but it was still so hot. Missouri weather at it's finest.

These long hours kept him busy by giving him plenty of time to think about all the things he should have done differently.

Should've never gone to Germany. Should have never left Wanda. Should have never almost slept with Nat again.

They were a bottle of wine in before they realized how messed up they were. But, oh, it felt so good to flirt with her again. It felt good to see that longing look in her eyes. It was just like old times. Except...it wasnt.

There was another woman in his heart now, and even though he knew it was most likely over between them he still couldn't go through with it. He closed his eyes and listened to the crickets. The sun was almost completely down now.

He heard gravel moving under tires in the distance. Someone was coming up the driveway. He couldn't see who yet, so he just waited. After all, not too many people it could be. As the car got closer his heart sped up.

It couldn't be.

Wanda.

His feet, his whole body was ready to betray him, but he stayed seated as his guest parked and exited the car.

"Kid. What are you doing here?"

Wanda's long red hair was shining in the fading sunlight.

"Cap said take some time. So I'm taking it. Here."

"Who says?" He asked.

"I do." She was so matter-of-fact that Clint almost broke.

She leaned against the hood of her car, ran her fingers through her long hair, and sighed.

"You don't know?"

He smirked, "I might know."

Wanda chuckled and made her way up the stairs and stood opposite of him. Clint stood up and backed her against the rail of the porch. He looked deep into her eyes.

"I thought I let you go..." His voice was a whisper.

"I thought I let you..." She replied.

His lips brushed hers and it was so familiar a sensation that it made his knees weak.

"Guess we were both wrong." He mused.

"I have to tell you something." Wanda said.

"No. Me first. There's something I should have told you a long time ago. I love you, kid." He leaned his forehead against hers.

"I love you too. I always did. I never stopped." She confessed.

"And I'm sorry about everything. Forgive me?"

"Of course I do." She said, "If I didnt I wouldn't be here right now."

Wanda wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. He ran his fingers through her hair. A feeling of thankfulness overcame him. He was an idiot for not running back to her long ago.

Clint teased his lips against hers before leading her inside. Suddenly, his body was aching for a whole different reason. The plan was to go to the bedroom, but they never made it past the couch. Wanda's lips grazed his neck and he melted for her.

"I missed you so badly." She confessed.

"Kid, you have no idea."

Later that night when they finally made it to the bedroom, Wanda was laying with her head on Clint's chest and a light autumn rain was falling, tapping against the window.

"I love you." He said, "That feels so good to finally say. Kinda thought I was going to be keeping that to myself forever."

"You could have just told me." Wanda said.

"I know, I know." Clint smiled.

Wanda sighed. There was no place she felt more safe than with Clint. He had been her friend and protector for so long, and then one day he hasnt there anymore. Not like he was. Not like it used to be. She wondered if they would ever find their way back here...and now they had.

She smiled as Clint kissed her head. She never wanted to forget this moment because in this moment she felt it was as close to a happy ending as she could ever imagine.

Thanks for reading!

Leave a review and give me some feedback! Xo!


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